IT’S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I LAST UPLOADED A BLOG POST
SINCE I DID SOMETHING FOR THE FIRST TIME OR
TRAVELED TO NEW DESTINATIONS.
SINCE I ACKNOWLEDGED MY DOUBTS AND FRUSTRATIONS
AND ALLOWED MYSELF TO BE TRUE TO WHO I AM.
CREATIVITY has been the main reason behind the lack of posts lately. With so many people in the blogosphere, I often feel like my content is unoriginal or just not original enough. Something I particularly struggle with are my photos. I always felt and still often feel like my pictures aren’t unique or high-quality enough. I don’t see my images as having an aesthetic or consistent look. Seeing other blogger’s feeds on Instagram or their blog photos has only further fuelled my insecurity. And living in a city that doesn’t inspire me or push me to be creative, hasn’t helped. Traveling is the only thing that inspires me, but being in school has limited my ability to travel. So, I’m pushing myself to do things that stimulate my creativity, whic has helped. Watching movies, looking at art, editing photos for IG and watching lightroom tutorials are all things that have gotten me back on track. But I know that there’s still a while to go until I can reach new creative heights.
TURNING 17 was a big moment for me. I thought it would be a new era with more milestones, freedom and adventures. But the truth is it hasn’t been all that. Starting a new year, a new chapter in my life has meant more work, less play. It’s meant more responsibilities and less freedoms. But, it hasn’t all been bleak. Some of those milestones and moments of wonder have been there and they have filled me with joy. Since my birthday, I’ve had the opportunity to visit my dream uniand to do something I had been looking forward to for years, chairing for MUN. This activity has been part of my life for a couple of years and it has always meant so much to me. So, having the ability to lead something that I love feels amazing! It makes me want to look forward to all the great moments that are yet to come and reassures me that the negative times are only temporary.
SCHOOL has been another roadblock in my blogging journey. Since starting junior year and the International Baccalaureate (or IB) life has gotten a bit busy, to say the least. Academics has always been something that I have been passionate about, so I was extremely enthusiastic about staring this new stage in my academic life. And although I’m still excited about school, some less than ideal grades and challenges have made the journey more difficult. I’m trying to stay optimistic but it hasn’t been easy. It’s something that I’m continuously working on because I’m not ready to give up, but some days being confident doesn’t feel right. When doubts and insecurities resurface, I am the first to ignore them and neglect their fact that they exist at all. Being honest with myself is something that I have had to deal with even if, at times, it has caused me to be anxious or upset. It’s all part of the process. I’m learning, both in school and out, to be honest and subjective because I know that only then will I be able to understand myself wholeheartedly, both as a person and a learner.
Thank you all so much for being here, with me, on this journey. It hasn’t been easy opening up and admitting some of the things I have felt, but it’s all been part of this journey that we are on. I can’t wait to continue growing this blog and the small community that has formed with it. As always…